About The Book

The toe-curling, spine-tingling guide to orgasms that will have you saying, "Let’s do it some more-gasms!"

Whether you’re looking to have your first orgasm, learning to squirt, or hoping to turn up the heat for a partner, I ❤️ Orgasms is the book for you. Drawing on their over twenty years of experience teaching audiences about sexual pleasure, plus the voices of thousands of survey-takers who share their experiences in these pages, sex education experts Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller help you find the pleasure they know is within your reach. In this fully revised and updated edition, they’ve crammed in even more info about the big O for aficionados and beginners alike, including: 

  • How to have an orgasm during penetration
  • The newest research on squirting
  • Directions on finding your way to the G-spot
  • Detailed advice on how to have your first orgasm
  • The best advances in sex toy technology
  • New and expanded content on penises, prostates, and pegging
  • Glimpses of what 3,525 survey respondents are doing in their bedrooms (and elsewhere!)
  • Solot and Miller have collaborated with Maybe Burke of the Transgender Training Institute to create the most inclusive book on sexual pleasure available today. Whether you’re looking to orgasm or just looking for a pleasure boost, seeking info for yourself or to thrill your partner, this new edition of I Love Orgasms is for you. No shame, no secrecy—just straightforward guidance for healthy sex that feels great.

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    Dorian Solot, Marshall Miller, and Maybe Burke
    About The Authors

    Dorian Solot & Marshall Miller

    with Maybe Burke

    Dorian Solot (she/her) and Marshall Miller (he/him) are nationally‑recognized sex educators who specialize in teaching about sexual pleasure. They have presented over 1,000 programs on sexuality topics at universities, businesses, high schools, national conferences, churches, and adult education centers over the past twenty years. Graduates of Brown University, Solot and Miller's media appearances include CNN, NBC, the New York Times, National Public Radio, USA Today, Time, The New Yorker, The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Chronicle of Higher Education, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Men's Health, and hundreds of other newspapers, radio, and television shows. Maybe Burke (they/she) is an actor, writer, and human rights advocate. They are a core trainer with the Transgender Training Institute.

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    Throughout I Love Orgasms, we point readers to this website to find resources where they can learn more. We chose to compile those resources here, rather than in the book itself, so we could do our best to keep links up-to-date and add additional resources as we learn about them.

    If you encounter links/accounts that no longer work, or have suggestions of resources we should consider adding, please get in touch!

    Please note:
    The information in these resources does not necessarily represent our views. Any book, website, or social media account has its strengths and weaknesses. For example, many books are written using language that is not as trans-inclusive as it could be by today's standards. The descriptions below match the language used in each book, so readers will not be surprised.

    Great Wall of Vagina
    An amazing art piece by British artist Jamie McCartney: 400 plaster casts of vulvas, assembled into panels 26 feet long.

    This site invited vulva-owners to submit their own photos. There are hundreds (thousands?) available to view.

    The Labia Library
    A smaller number of photos, from the book I’ll Show You Mine.

    Petals, by Nick Karras
    Black and white photos of vulvas, demonstrating the beautiful diversity of this under-appreciated part of our bodies.

    I'll Show You Mine, by Wrenna Robertson
    Color photos of vulvas accompanied by a personal narrative of from the vulva-owner.
    Transcending Anatomy
    Written as “a guide to help partners of trans people navigate bodies and sex," including unpacking assumptions, what language to use, getting comfortable with physical contact, and navigating dysphoria.

    Trans Sex Education
    This site, based in the United Kingdom, has information and resources about a number of different topics, including sex toys, consent, and sex after bottom surgery.

    Fucking Trans Women
    This zine, available for purchase here, popularized the concept of muffing.

    A guide to muffing
    This Vice magazine article gives an overview of muffing, drawing from the Fucking Trans Women zine.

    Trans sex toys:
    Cute Little Fuckers
    Hot Octopuss

    Safer Sex For Trans Bodies
    This booklet addresses masturbation, talking about sex with partners, and other topics, with a focus on safer sex and HIV/STI prevention.

    Brazen 2.0: Trans Womens’ Safer Sex Guide
    Produced in Toronto, Canada, this guide covers disclosure, negotiation and consent, sex work, safer sex, transition-related surgeries, HIV prevention and treatment, and online dating and internet culture.

    A sex education zine by and for trans women

    A resource guide for transgender and gender diverse communities on sexual and reproductive health.

    Trans and non-binary sex educators to follow:
    @itsmillyevans (IG, TT)
    @iheartericka (IG, TT)
    @beaumygodpod (IG, TT)
    @jammidodger (TT)
    @whatsmybodydoing (IG, TT)
    @nevozisin (IG, TT)
    @queersextherapy (IG, TT)
    @intra_sensual (IG, TT)
    @mydisabledsexlife (IG, TT)
    @genderlearnerIG, TT)

    Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano
    A collection of personal essays that debunk many of the myths and misconceptions that people have about trans women, femininity, and the subjects of gender and sexism more generally.

    Trans Sex by Lucie Fielding
    The aim of this book is to equip providers with both conceptual frameworks and concrete tools for better engaging their trans, non-binary, and gender expansive clients in pleasure-centered discussions of sexual health.

    Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure and Relationships by Juno Roche
    In this frank, funny and poignant book, transgender activist Juno Roche discusses sex, desire and dating with leading figures from the trans and non-binary community.

    Trans and non-binary educators to follow on Instagram & TikTok
    (though the focus of their content is not always sex, it is a topic that comes up for a lot of folks.)
    @alokvmenon (IG, TT)
    @steroidbeyonce (IG, TT)
    @chasestrangio (IG, TT)
    @pinkmantaray (IG, TT)
    @raquel_willis (IG, TT)
    @dineaesthetics (IG, TT)
    @thejeffreymarsh (IG, TT)
    @thechrismosier (IG, TT)
    @kaydenxofficial (IG, TT)
    @thatannamarie (IG, TT)
    @hopegiselle (IG, TT)
    @mx.deran (IG, TT)
    @rosemontoya (TT) @rosalynnemontoya (IG)

    Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community edited by Laura Erickson Schroth
    Inspired by Our Bodies, Ourselves, the classic and powerful compendium written for and by (cis) women, Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is widely accessible to the transgender population, providing authoritative information in an inclusive and respectful way and representing the collective knowledge base of dozens of influential experts.

    Transgender Warriors by Leslie Feinberg
    Feinberg interweaves history, memoir, and gender studies to show that transgender people, far from being a modern phenomenon, have always existed and have exerted their influence throughout history

    Transgender History by Susan Stryker
    This book takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, from the mid-twentieth century to today.

    Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love, and So Much More by Janet Mock
    Though a memoir from the experience of one person, this book holds many lessons about growing up trans, and Janet discusses facets of her own sex life and transition on a path to authenticity.

    Gender Outlaw: on Men, Women, and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein
    Through another memoir from a singular perspective, Kate asks big questions about gender, the binary, and where we fit in. First published in 1994, this book stands as a recognition that non-binary people have pre-dated millennials, even if the term wasn’t in use back then.

    Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon
    Poet, artist, and LGBTQIA+ rights advocate Alok Vaid-Menon deconstructs, demystifies, and reimagines the gender binary.

    Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality by Anne Fausto-Sterling
    This book demonstrates how scientists have historically politicized the body and argues that the knowledge we have about sex is shaped by the culture in which scientific knowledge is produced.

    Black on Both Sides by C. Riley Snorton

    Drawing on a deep and varied archive of materials—early sexological texts, fugitive slave narratives, Afro-modernist literature, sensationalist journalism, Hollywood films—Snorton attends to how slavery and the production of racialized gender provided the foundations for an understanding of gender as mutable.

    Written on the Body: Letters from Trans and Non-Binary Survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence edited by Lexie Bean

    The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman’s Guide to Why She Can’t and How She Can Orgasm, by Dr. Vivienne Cass
    Written in the conversational tone of a caring therapist, this thorough book explores every possible reason why women have orgasm challenges and offers solutions. Language used is inclusive of straight, lesbian, and bi cisgender women.

    Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How To Get It, by Dr. Laurie Minitz
    A friendly book with step-by-step] advice for orgasms on your own and with a partner. Inclusive of straight, lesbian, and bi cisgender women.

    About Face
    Chock-full of facts, stories, best and worst ads, and “what you can do" ideas to tackle negative and distorted images of bodies.

    Body Liberation with Lindley Ashline
    Body Liberation Guide weekly emails with links and resources, body image journal prompts, body positive stock photos.

    ChangeLiketheMoon Facebook community
    Their tagline says it all: “For body positive individuals with diversity in size, physical abilities, and health issues. Your worth is not dictated by any of these characteristics. All bodies are good bodies."

    Food Psych podcast
    A weekly podcast by Christy Harrison about helping people make peace with food and break free from diet culture.

    Health at Every Size Facebook group

    Your Fat Friend
    Aubrey Gordon has awesome social media to follow, book, book list, and podcast.

    Big Big Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them), by Hanne Blank

    Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body, by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby

    Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, by Joan Price

    The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, by Sonya Renee Taylor
    Go Ask Alice
    A Q&A-based website based at Columbia University, with excellent answers to student questions about sex (and other health topics). The archives of sex questions are amazing, and the answers are fantastic.

    Fantastic info site about EVERYTHING sexuality-related, “for teens and emerging adults."

    Juicebox app
    Sexperts answer anonymous sex and relationship questions. Free download.

    Friendly, informative birth control info site

    Magic Wand Art History
    It’s hard not to chuckle at this site that inserts Magic Wand vibrators into famous pieces of art.

    Classy, informative video-based learning about female sexual pleasure, intended for solo people with vaginas, people who want to learn more about partners with vaginas, and couples/people in relationships. Requires a paid subscription.

    Listing of Feminist Sex Toy & Sexuality Bookstores
    Looking for a friendly, inclusive place to shop for and buy sex toys or find great books? Find a store close to you on our list! These typically have knowledgeable staff who can answer questions and give advice for customers of all genders and sexual orientations.

    My Birth Control
    Answer a series of questions about your priorities and situation, and it will recommend and provide info about which types of birth control might be a good match.

    Sex Positive app, iPhone, Android
    A simple spinner allows you to match up nearly any body part with nearly any other –– and read up on STI risks, safer sex practices, and communication advice for that combo. Free download.

    Disability Horizons.com
    This online magazine, based in the United Kingdom, that “aims to give disabled people a voice" has a relationships relationships and sex section.

    The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disabilities

    A Quick and Easy Guide to Sex and Disability
    National sexual assault hotline, with free 24-7 online chat and phone support.

    Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma, by Staci Haines
    An excellent, positive guide for female survivors of sexual assault. Inclusive of women of all sexual orientations.

    Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse, by Mike Lew
    One of the best-respected books for male survivors of sexual abuse. Inclusive of heterosexual, gay, and bi men.

    Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child, by Laura Davis
    A practical book written to help people who are in a relationship with a person who was abused in the past. Addresses sexual issues, being a supportive partner, and taking care of oneself as well as one’s partner.

    The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, 20th Anniversary Ed., by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
    Highly recommended by countless survivors and therapists – a book that changes lives.

    Contact Authors

    We’d love to hear from you! You can reach the authors at info@sexualityeducation.com and follow along on Instagram @iloveorgasmsbook.

    Follow Maybe Burke on Instagram and TikTok at @believeinmaybe.